Grief and Loss
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I’m not here to make you experts, but I’m here to encourage you by saying to you, “Hope is in you to give.”
Stages of Grief (Slide 1)
God does redeem everything and He does use all of our experiences but, that sunless valley of the shadow of death is right here and it’s very real.
There is all this stuff that we go through, but there is readjustment.
And so sometimes when I’m sitting with somebody, what I know is that there is readjustment coming. But timing is huge. There is an art to being able to sit with a person and let them come to their place, whether I pray with them, or just say, “I’m just here,”
We need to be there for them and let them feel it.
Know that they are healing by feeling.
Ways that you can help
1. Hope with them. I am coming alongside and we are hoping together.
2. Create a safe place for them to tell their story. We all have our way of processing and some people are going to do it slightly different, but this is a common one. Needing to tell those stories again.
3. And being a companion in their grief.
Presence. Presence. If you remember a word, remember “presence”.
When should you be concerned? (Slide 3)
Let me leave you with these 3 things because these are important.
1. If they are getting more intentional about their thoughts of suicide. So, they are starting to talk about what they might do or where they might do it, you need to send them to a professional of some kind. Don’t let that go.
2. If they start not taking care of themselves. They’re not getting up in the morning.
They’re not taking care of their hygiene. That might be going a little deeper than grief.
3. Or if they start abusing drugs, alcohol, processes – like gambling or something like that, then you want to be sending them on.
Other than those 3 things, you be a human being. You add your hope to whatever shred of hope they have left and go through the dark valley step by step by step. Not as a leader, as a human being with the grace of Jesus flowing through you and splashing on them. And make sure you get prayed up. Make sure you’re walking with God ’cause that’s how it’s going to happen.
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TRAINER: Dr. Cath Thorlakson, Psychologist, PhD, RPsych
SOURCE: Volunteer Training Workshop (2016 10), Edmonton
POSTED: Nov 2016